a mothers knocking is a guaranteed boner softener
she was mad because i didn't remember our fuckaversary. fuck buddies are getting too demanding..
I woke up to him peeling the skin on my stomach from my sunburn. If he wasn't so good in bed I'd be a little freaked out.
And I think your bro would be happy to know that when I took my bra off like 10lbs of confetti fell out. It was like my tits were celebrating being free
OH HAPPY DAYS YOU'RE BOTH GINGERS YOU'LL REPRODUCE YOUR OWN KIND
I have way too big of a thanksgiving food baby to enjoy any of my old high school booty calls
i could have been the DD. this is ridiculous. i'm the most sober and getting the least ass.
if masturbating while stoned isn't called "weed whacking" then i just don't know how to live my life anymore
I do not mind being torn from the first touches of sleep to see a man who looks like that
Just spent 10 minutes washing away my own puke. This gas station lady loves me.
Just sent a dick pic to ur girl. It was accident. Plz mail it to Gena.
By chance and just chance did you find a cock ring? By chance
I just ordered a "football meatlong" from subway
this is a mass text: the cage has been opened. repeat, the cage has been opened. a search party will be organized. you are all sloppy bitches. that is all.
It still amazes me Mike had to have neck surgery after eating me out so much.
Randomize
