that drag queen yelled at him and touched me to make him jealous and said things like this is what a real man feels like. it was a thrill.
best line ever after sex today..."wow, that was a porn-star sized load"
Two portable blenders. We are going to be popular and dangerous.
It's only 11:30 and she's already making friends with the homeless...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Apparently it's ok to apply for building permits drunk. I feel like there definitely is a law preventing that.
It's official, I need to start putting my vagina's needs before my own.
We should have a bouncer at the top of our stairs asking the guys we bring home for ID...
After he finished he sang his college fight song like it was some victory
You can't just beat off while driving someone else's car. Thats a rule
Thats your rule and this car is nice
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think there's a problem with society when I'm shopping for lingerie and I think "man some of these would make kickass shirts"
Rigtt?!
She sent me nudes via email. What the fuck are we still in the 90s? Grow up
Status: mom bitching about grandma not shutting the fuck up, while not shutting the fuck up. Dear Jesus give me strength or more bourbon.
Have you ever been anal in a bush on the Vegas strip drunk?
you asked if you could borrow my vagina for the night
You know the story of the boner party, right? They got stuck in the mountains and ate each other?
It was the Donner party... boner party was the porn version...
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