it was literally the size of a crayloa marker. i didnt know what to do with it so i just sat there
How could you not be happy? Its like "and then I found 5 dollars" but "and then I found a handle of vodka"
they're like a gay fantastic four
Lil wasted at a baby shower. Here's to beating teen pregnancy BOTTOMS UP
No, the real question is if you drink like I drink why WOULDN'T you wear a cape.
Just pretend you're riding a unicorn through space. Thats how I deal with the stirrup situation at the gyno office.
Well going home with a Ralph Lauren model helped me get over him real fuckin' quick. Would recommend it for all women going through breakups
Get a piano. I want to have sex on it.
You're fucking beautiful as shit and we should have loving sex...
Is it bad juju to glue mini budda to the bottom of a shot glass
Good. Need a drinking partner later. FOR AMERICA!!!
Let's just say that I took off my pants and I had superman boxers on. Then she took off her pants and she had batman panties on. I think she's the one!
When you start lapping your martini like a cat it's time to go home. Partys over.
Life is clearly unfair. You remember Courtney has three older sisters, well they're all "make baby sister look like a four" hot. I knew I shouldn't go home with her.
I hate when he takes the condom off to cum all over me. It defeats the purpose.
It’s like having a barf bag and choosing to puke in your own lap.
Randomize
