Whore.
I was being facetious
Don't try to hide behind big words.
Any of you guys fuck a 16 year old again? Because our front yard got fucked over high school style.
so I was like, you know platform 9 3/4? I know something else with those measurements. best. pick up line. ever.
are we at that level where i can tell you your girlfriends tits looked really good yet?
I'm having horrible flashbacks of being groped by Pauly Shore.
Please. I don't care how shitty his fake life story was. As horny as I was I just wanted the prettiest man possible in case I accidentally got pregnant. He had blue eyes.
Me and allie were just offered cocaine by a strange man in a women's bathroom. Why have I not lived in Austin my whole life?
We passed out in his car so I had to find a way to inconspiciously make my walk of shame back inside to go get my shit. To make things more difficult I had no pants and the whole neighborhood was awake
Why can't I come over and snuggle you and make you lick my boots
i knew my hormones were back to normal when i went to ikea and didn't want to fuck any of the workers
Nothing to be ashamed of. I bet Oprah has sharted.
Its not that hard to understand he's my holiday boyfriend, we ignore each other most of the year except on holidays when I give him head
Word. I want it involving like... sing-a-longs and sniffing glue.
Birthday wine tasting got super shambly super quickly. I am covered in cuts/bruises/terrible life decisions.
Look, I need your help, not your judgment.
Randomize
