Scared. last time someone tried to talk me into they said it tastes like tapioca and i projectiled onto a closed window
I think I just need to sleep with both of them to see which I want to date.
You just went from promiscuous to slut in 3.2 seconds.
I love how I just got my coachella ticket and ecstasy in a package deal.
its barely noon and he already threw up and i have second degree burn
I think he just gave me the 'I used to sleep with your sister' discount
He wears a hat. All the time. Even during sex. And I'm okay with that.
I'd like to be considered more than just his fuck buddy thanks. IVE BEEN RISKING PREGNANCY FOR SEVEN GODDAMN MONTHS I DESERVE THE TITLE OF GIRLFRIEND
just mapquested my walk of shame from saturday..bye bye freshman 15
I can't turn my head to the left, I'm pissing out of my ass, and my finger went through the toilet paper today... I need you.
I'm going to teach Troy such valuable life lessons. Yesterday I told him to stay away from girls who drink redbull and vodkas.
Not gonna make it. My ovaries are playing laser tag
That's the only way to get approved without a guarantor.
WHAT DOES THAT MEAN WHAT FUCKING LANGUAGE ARE YOU SPEAKING
Is "head down ass up" an appropriate way to say good morning?
did i just see you in the movie theater carrying a margarita into Frozen?
All the 6 year olds are jealous of my alcohol
whenever i get involved w someone i'm gonna give you their number to testify to the fact that they should not fall in love with me
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