it was a mass text i'm sorry
do you usually send 'hey sexy' as a mass text?
the spit in my mouth is still 99% not mine.
considering how much of last night I don't remember and the amount of ones laying on my desk right now, it's safe to say I'm concerned
Fair enough. I'm gonna finish off half a bottle of Brunettes in the shower anf relive the good ol' days. We need a reunion
They invited me day drinking but brought their kids. 3 two year olds and 1 11 month old. I was asked to change a diaper, I laughed and took another drink of this margarita. I LIKE CHANEL AND TEQUILA NOT CHILDREN. Can we make new friends?
I get hit on by the prison guards every time i go to see him. Seriously.
I want to pinterest what I want to do with my pubes. Why isn't there a board for that?!
While I'm on hiatus from the Russian potato nectar, it is my wish for others to enjoy it in my stead.
Only he would come to a strip club and talk about an internship with Walt Disney during a lap dance.
classified somewhere between kinky and medically inadvisable
I went shopping for a dress that was baptism and bar appropriate.
I'm gonna be the best dressed mother fucker to ever get kicked out of that damn bar.
you never un-have a 4some
I love how encouraging you are, but I need you to stop me when the guy I'm going home with is a dead ringer for Nick Cage.
You think that was bad? One time my parents found my sister half naked on top of the four runner in the garage. She makes me look like the good child.
Randomize
