just heard a tri-delta girl talking about her drunken escapades last weekend...it's like the exact plotline to a hardcore porno.
She was having a seizure right in front of you, and you asked, "So there's no more donuts?"
I'm finding that as the end of the quarter approaches, the list of things I refuse to do sober keeps getting longer.
I couldn't function. I was to the point where I was using a bottle cap as a monocle.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wish they'd wear their tampons on the outside. At least gimme some warning
Single person behavior: I wanted a cookie but was too lazy to make or go buy any, so I let cookie dough ice cream melt and ate all the chunks. Pantsless.
Sudden memory flashback: drunk me outside ripping my tampon out and throwing it into the neighbors yard, silently cheering 'time for sexxxx'. I sense a dangerous pattern emerging
CHEMICAL ENGINEER. God my mom would be so proud of me.
no dont worry i changed into my costume in the hospital bathroom
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The sad thing was my husband told her its ok to make out with me. Bar Tuesdays will live on regardless.
Your mom won me $100 and you showed me your tits. Solid evening.
Nick is about to bring home a woman who is 39, a mother, and, by all accounts, FUCKING HOMELESS. Will update as details become available.
I may have been mad at the Supreme Court/patriarchy and tried to hate fuck myself.
Not even official and he's cleaned my puke twice. His hotdog skills are an added bonus. I've got a keeper
I was writing 'DISTRACTION' across my chest in Sharpie when my boob fell out. Right on camera.
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