so then we both started to do the walk of shame and she didnt realize we had fucked in her apartment until some lady said hi to her in the elevator
you didnt stop her?
too entertaining
do you think I can still get an erection if I donate blood today? this is important.
You remember the guy that busted in waving a tazer at everyone yelling "get the fuck outta my crib"?
yeah you don't forget that shit easily
We ended up crawling out from our hiding spot and playing pool with him once he calmed down. His name is Marcus. I got his email.
No, not normal drunk. Wake up on a trampoline with a naked chick you've never seen before drunk. I think i missed my first trampoline sex...
Blonde girl lying face-down, passed out next to my bed, walls are covered in guacamole. College is looking excellent.
Can vaginas get frostbite?
Yeah, but I think it would be a little awkward to explain to Mom that the girl I brought for lunch is not my girlfriend but just a fuck buddy who I met after she hit and totaled my car last month.
We had sex and then I offered him a cookie...while he was still inside of me. Basically he's in love
You said you were going to start drinking less. Drinking 25 small airplane bottle shots do not count.
There's nothing more rewarding than telling you that I fucked your dad
You start to question your party girl tendencies when you're wearing the same shirt you wore the night before to work and you're trying to get last nights Jell-O shot off the sleeve on your way to work
Dick very happy bro
I woke up in a beaver hat and contruction vest.. I need answers.
Why does my nose taste spicy?
How do you know what your nose tastes like?
There's a point in life when you've got to take dick like a big girl.
Randomize
