he just flicked a booger into my mouth and shouted "goaaaal!"
Ok so my english teacher told me i could have 5 absences bc of my "problem". I have no idea what she is talking about
I fucking love fucking science majors-- she told me that she wanted to know if her gag reflex got better or worse with alcohol, and that her initial evidence had been inconclusive. So, next few weeks, yeah, gettin blown periodically. All I have to do is keep a log.
Arguably, the best part was cockblocking those squirrels.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Pretty sure I just became the first person ever to use the word "boner" in a wedding card...
My goal for the night is to see your housemate's one lonely teste.
I think pretend fucking a camel is a good thing to do downtown. They loved me.
the straight edge chick smoked with me, because according to her my bowl is pretty
I had mdma, weed, and alcohol in my system. My doctor seems to think that's how I tore my groin.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We went the strip club and out of no where the waitress brings him over a quesadilla and a jäger bomb and says your usual!! He swore he had never been there before
I think I was just hit on by Jesus Christ. This is not okay. Bad Touch. I NEED AN ADULT!
Calm the hell down, it's just stoner Bob.
I was dreaming of a parallel reality and in the dream I just looked up at my present self and was like "you're high, man"
I guess it's part of life. Sometimes your ex boyfriend becomes a drag queen.
I just sent him a message bearing my soul about how much he means to me as a friend and his first response is "are you drunk?"
Shit like this is why I'm a bitch to everyone.
THREE MINUTES! THREE MINUTES PAST MIDNIGHT I STSRT HEARING CHRISTMAS MUSIC ON THE OVERHEAD PA SYSTEM!!!
Randomize