Its not alright that i make out with a manican.
I need a slap back to reality. Or at least a slap back to homosexuality
Just saw someone buying TWO six packs of O'Doul's. WHY ??
So, when he came he screamed MORTAL KOMBAT!!!! at the top of his lungs and all of his roomates yelled back FINISH HER!!!!.....yeah kinda akward
definitely fulfilled the lesbian status quo and fucked her in the back seat of my prius
I can taunt you with whatever I want. Like batman and sex.
So I found a skull ring inside me this morning. I'm assuming its yours, so I'll leave it in my mailbox for you - it looks expensive.
I'm currently eating a turkey dinner, listening to xplosive by dr. Dre, and drinking rum. Hispanic christmas dinners are the best.
He just said his penis sings like Mariah Carey...Im going with drunken.
I mean there are things broken right and left, I woke up surrounded by dog statues, and we had a vodka bubble bath.
Sometimes you just have to have sex for a Netflix password.
Oohh. Then yes, he is the Alpha Fuckboy.
She asked what the dent on the hood of my car was from..i think she knows we had sex up there
I mean, drunk me really liked him, maybe sober me will too. Who am I to deny fate?
Planning a vacation around my dog. I have become one of those dog moms.
Randomize
