Note to self: When getting ready to leave with a kid in a wheelchair don't say Let's roll
I wish we had a justin bieber to wanna fuck when we were younger... But noooo we just had hanson
you lied. pity sex is amazing.
I admit it's going to be hard to top a limo orgy and Mcnuggets....but I have faith in you
This is the time you want your cat to have telepathy with you. To know if the guy downstairs left.
He said he forgot to take his shoes off, and that he was a bad boy because he was walking on the carpet. Then he sang. Then he shouted "I'M STILL FORGETTING."
I just want to let it be known that I almost put my phone in the fridge.
the night probably should have been over when the guy let her fill out my mechanical bull waver for me because i couldn't read
I need to go back to work. I've had so much sex since the shutdown started. last night we tried and a little flag came out saying "nothing is left in here try a week later"
we managed to melt a few different forms of plastic into the cannibutter....
I can make a sex schedule on Excel and send it to you guys
In my opinion the party was fun, but i did A LOT of cocaine so my view was a little distorted......
Just got a blow job from a woman on a ski slope. She said ski'ing frightens her and giving head calms her down. Glad I could help ma'am!
You like pics of my balls that much?
I am at the store looking at frames as we text...
Should I put the spider I likely swallowed in my sleep into my calorie tracker?
Randomize
