p.s. this guy just tipped me with ecstasy pills. is this real life
got some bad news about ur virginity. she didnt make it thru the night
dude i woke up sitting indian style with my face on the ground and my hand in a bucket of ice.
please promise me that no matter what happens you will keep me away from the children
what whaaaat?! I BET YOU WIN IN THE TEETH DEPARTMENT.
and by clear my head i mean get drunk and cry myself into oblivion.
I asked her why she named her vibrator Lorenzo and said it was the name she started screaming her first time.
Breakfast of champions
Is that a dick crepe?
It is indeed
my throat is bruised, my back is scarred, my vagina feels like it's going to fall off.. you're like godzilla. you destroy everything.
On the upside, no one went to the hospital! Lex's friend was definitely on fire at one point last night though because he tried to juggle tiki torches. He was shirtless this morning and smelled like a BBQ.
my roommate woke me up with head. more awkward than it sounds.
Walking into my bedroom & smelling stale sex & disappointment isn't how I envisioned being 39, in case you were wondering.
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos
Maybe? I'm not shaving my pubes for a maybe type of night.
Skipping class. Wanna Drink now?
yea. just give me 15 min to write a paper.
Randomize
