Ooooh. That's not a mole. Uncomfortable.
My bed smells like naked
Haha. At least it doesn't smell like herpes
Vibrating panties would be amazing during this conversation!
The is a pregnant woman in this Chipolte wearing a shirt that simply says ‘OOPS!’ across the tummy.
That baby is bound to be under-loved.
Getting up at 8 this morning to drink could be the best and the worst idea we've ever had
I came home drunk to my night light on and a Hershey's bar on my bed. Mom knows me too well.
she acted like she'd never seen someone do speed off of a desk with a rolled up receipt. and she calls herself a grad student.
Vodka @ 9pm. Library. Nothing can go wrong, I promise.
I should have taken pre-gaming this lunch date more seriously.
If people don't want my drunken phone call then TAKE YOUR FUCKING NUMER OFF OF FACEBOOK, like it's just that easy...
You were buying shots for everyone, saying, "I got a tax refund. I'm a MILLIONAIRE."
I swear to god little potato creatures live inside Belvedere bottles and claw at your throat as you swallow shots.
Bring me pizza. I'll trade you your underwear you left here for 2 slices.
What are best friends for?
Picking your clothes up from a one night stand you had nearly 2 months ago
You told me not to tell you found out you're pregnant..
Randomize
