I don't care if he is my ex... I have the deed to his dick until someone else fucks him. We broke up 2 years ago.... I am still holding that deed!
You just kept screaming "You are no House!!!" at the ER doc trying to stitch your head
He poured the shots. We did them together. I cheersd him out of the shower
No one even knew you were hurt until we saw the multiple cuts to prove it, and when we asked what happened all you could say was "I fell out"
He apologized for his naked psychotic episode and then we had goodbye sex on his sailboat
Can't talk right now. I'm doing tequila shots with my professor at some Mexican bar. That's how I prepare for finals.
I punted my pants across my apt at my roommate last night. Everything else is kinda fuzzy.
what the hell is that chicken wire thing she's holding?
An artistic expression of her stupidity.
Last night I dressed up as a cowgirl and walked into McDonald's. I bought 20 mcribs. There's pictures
I am the girl who goes to bed with her make-up on so that she doesn't have to fully redo it in the morning. I am obviously not ready to be a mother.
How does that even work?
It might be whiskey, but I view Marge and Homer Simpson as something to strive for
My morning started with my mom giving me the number for a substance abuse councellor. How's your day going?
I made a nest in his bed. I'm not leaving
shut up and let me use my vagina as a weapon of self destruction in peace!
My alcoholism is old enough to drink.
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