Ross. Joey. Chandler. Who would you do?
everytime someone famous vagina shows up in pics, i have to go check my own vagina to make sure mine dont look all wrinkledy and flabby like that....i want my lips plump and succulent
That fucking fat Asian kid that NOBODY invited is stuck in the dryer again
He literally had a note from his doctor saying he wasn't allowed to finger me for a week
The girl behind me in psych just tapped me on my shoulder to tell me there was a condom wrapper in my hood.
apparently domino's not only has a live feed of pizzas coming out of the oven, but it also has a built in smooth jazz radio station. this pizza's getting really pornographic really fast.
I don't know if you've ever seen a group of 20 year olds reenact a rectal prolapse, but 'majestic' isn't really the word I'd use...
He wasn't excited for the fifty shades of grey trailer, so I told him we're done
Pretty sure the guy at the Halloween party dressed as an ice cream man is working his way through the building without a care for gender or age. He high-fives me on his way out each morning.
It was like being run over by an orgasm freight train.
I may have dislocated my hip getting fucked on the bathroom counter
i think you might have coined the term "slightly awkward pyromania"
It feels like heartburn in my lungs. I'll buy 2 pounds.
Lunch date was a success. And you'll be proud- my legs stayed closed.
Come on in and take your pants off
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