Turns out "bordello" doesn't mean what I thought it did.
So pretty much, I was trying to piece last night together and remembered a point where I was pointing to you heart then touching your face. I'm not sure that I ever translated that to "I like your personality better than your looks" but that's what I meant
He walked in, tore open the drawer, pulled out a condom, and slammed it shut. He was that ready.
no more duck duck goose at the bar
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I'm going to shower the piss off me now. I feel like I was in an R. Kelly dream.
You kept trying to throw the grocery cart off the balcony.
my boobs are worth more now than the blue book value of my car.
Its official vodka lemonade jager and whiskey with coorslight is a bad combination of try to forget the work week cocktail ps bring alkaseltzer
I think I ruined his life by managing to get his initiation nickname for his frat to be "Whiskey Dick" but I still wish herpes on him and his fugly new girlfriend.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I had sex with a Dutch boy on a rock last night. Happy graduation! x x
The sound of my own breathing is making my head throb. That hungover.
In honor of Sarah Palin's bday I suggest we watch Nailing Palin
Haha no we did it on his bed. Then rolled off into the bean bag. It was a strangely athletic performance on my behalf.
Captain Morgan does not know self control. Nor does he teach it.
What made you think singing Silent Night while I was puking was a good idea?!?!
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