I woke up with a picture of my dick as my background. still wondering if it was a good night or not.
that would combine my 3 fave things. christmas funfetti and paul simon
She was wearing a "Got Beer" hat and your bed had necco wafers all over it the next morning. Another story for the grandkids.
Throw up on the ground, people dancing to loud Bollywood music, seats literally missing. Fuck I hate public transit
gettin drunk isnt as much fun when i can use my own id for it
The only way I could have failed my exam worse is if there would have been a drug test portion
Just wana tell you im wearing assless jorts tonight. Ive been waiting my whole life for this.
Also he wants to know a casual, consise way to ask a girl in a bar if he could eat her out. Think on that.
Well I think I made it pretty obvious I wasn't in to it. I was drinking a beer while he was going down in me
Welp, I can cross "making out with a guy in a dress" off my bucket list...
I woke up with $140 in twenties in my bra and have never been more puzzled.
She took a six hour road trip with me so I could have revenge sex with my ex's brother. That is the definition of a best friend.
My boobs are literally freaking out because I've been wearing a bra for more than three hours....I need to go out more...
So, I without a doubt haven't used the bag I'm now carrying since we were dating. Just had to discreetly throw out an unopened magnum in a bus station.
its 11:20. i'm drunk in class flying paper airplanes for my final. what the fuck is my college experience right now?
Randomize
