I have a feeling we are going to become cougars together.
I can do anything tonight that doesnt involve an erection.
I met him yesterday and now he's wanting to hold hands and kiss in public. i hate this
I dont want to tell you. Lets just say that a lot of things are reminding me of your dick right now
Doing lines of cocaine in the bathroom and the word 'better' do not belong in the same sentence.
I feel like a fucking princess. Like an heiress of a kingdom of drugs.
My clit ring got caught in his beard. Never. Again.
You take your time. Wallowing in last nights filth is the best way to get over a hangover
I just saw a fat girl roll down the steps taking out three people with her, thought you should know.....
My dad is so drunk he attempted to ride my two year old cousin's tricycle. For a solid five minutes.
Also, did you really start discussing the weather in the middle of telling you my sexual fantasy about you?
Oh, that was the alley that I ate a pine cone in.
I need a nap, Harry Potter movies, and dick in this exact order after work.
She looks like a character that batman would try to kill, or something.
ugffhh I have work in 4 hours and have recieved zero sleep, seeing that I'm trapped in the arms of a snoring bear man. can't. breathe. lost in the forestry of his chest hair.
Randomize
