It's not real sex if he's just convulsing inside of you.
I told her I would melt her with my mustache. Needless to say, he pants were soon off.
chicago's viagra triangle is not unlike the bermuda triangle in thatt things just get lost...... planes, ships, dignity, virginity, etc.
i literally forgot his name and just started calling him "waffles"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I do regret it. But I can't unfuck her
took acid and went on safebus. all the lights were off except the adds. swear to god it was a submarine
Just woke up with my keys in one hand and cheesecake in the other.
during a bj, his alarm went off and he said "At the buzzer"
You're not on my level until you shop at Petsmart for sex accessories.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She said she liked strap-ons.
SHE WAS TALKING ABOUT SHOES, YOU ASSHOLE! YOU'RE THE WORST WINGMAN EVER!
Awkward moment: seeing and saying hey to the MILF you're sleeping with while shopping with your mother and sister.
Dude, I traded weed for crunch berries. Happy Thursday.
The cat is stealing cigarettes and my vagina cures blindness. How's your night?
The room got awkwardly silent right as i yelled "leave him alone! I know plenty of straight guys who like to suck dick!"
QUICK FAX ME THE BALL
Not how faxing works at all btw
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