You took my girl thats shot the Fuck out. You better watch your skinny ass.
That's barely a sentence. Who's your girl? I think you've got the wrong number. I haven't even lived in Alabama for 4 years.
Yeah, I do, I'm sorry. I meant 205 not 256. sorry about that.
Good luck with your revenge in Birmingham.
I'm at a party watching some dude try to eat a whole package of Oreos in 5 minutes.
This soccer player girl is eating this banana WAY to slow. Too early for penis shaped foods.
I was unaware that a tutu and pasties was appropriate attire to this
drunk her ninja stole one of the pizzas as it arrived and hid all of the pieces in a cereal box in the fridge.Genius.
I told him I'd go cook him breakfast, but ended up passing out on the kitchen floor in the fetal position spooning the dog
She's the worst person, but the best naked person
I can dream in two languages, but it's still about ripping a bong.
Guess I was throwing darts at a patrons head last night, lol! Black out
I feel like we need a drunken piñata bash with your face being the piñata and my hopes and dreams being the stick
stalking the twitter feeds of girls who have fucked my current fuck buddy makes me glad we use condoms
How the fuck does a person bruise an armpit? I swear to god, I get the lamest drunk injuries.
As you passed out you started to cry and say "Mufasa" over and over again making everyone else cry.
He broke through his window then signed his name on the biggest peice of glass from it. I think they framed it and named it 'best party ever'
I had a date last night. His dog threw up in his bed while we were having sex in it.
Randomize
