could you grab mr moo while you're at his apt?
you brought your stuffed animal to a booty call?
hey, we don't wanna leave the house because we're watching fireworks on tv. this is america.
cruising supermarkets, asking random people where i can get weed. fuck alaska
Did we have sex last night?
I think that was the general idea until I got you undressed and you puked on me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just creeped all your pictures on Facebook -- it was like I watched you grow up right before my eyes.
Just got laid for the first time in 3 yrs, 10 mo, 1 wk & 2 days. YESSSS.
New beer pong partner names "Bus Boys" ... We clear tables
Just woke to a Christmas wrapped pack of hotdogs in my bathtub. How high did we get?
She stole my hamster. idk who she was, she just walked in and said she knew Keith so she stayed, drank 6 beers, and then stole Charles.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Apparently I grabbed her ponytail and cut it with an exacto knife.
Only the gays. Guy gives me a handjob in the steam, then changes next to me under his towel
Only the gays
No piss test, hell yeah
FALSE ALARM. PISS TEST. I NEED YOUR PISS.
I spent the morning naked in her roommates closet because her parents decided to come over after church..
new dating motto: let your guard down, not your panties
You walked up to a random girl on the street and asked her for a bite of her pizza...
Randomize