There's some strange man with hair that keeps talking to us. I'm scared.
This is how horror movies start. Going to bar with strange hair guy. He's paying. Bad idea?
Ditched hair man. Got free cab ride to market. Want food. I win.
I don't remember. I think I elluded to the fact that I would buy him a dildo for his birthday.
There's just something about sucking a flaccid dick that makes me feel so calm. Like a baby cow..
I legitimately had a champagne shower last night at a rave. I was also carrying around two bananas in my pockets like guns. Drunk doesn't even. Begin to explain My night.
Our conversation concluded a weekly schedule of casual sex in between classes.
Her mom is a nurse who got called in to declare someone dead. Just got wing manned by a corpse.
I am going to be so excited tomorrow when I find this box of crayons in my purse
I think I used my NERF gun during sexual roleplay. Need to re-evaluate my life choices.
Just banged your ex. So it really is 'him, not you' in that he's gay. Rodeo champion gay.
I have so many feelings about this burrito
Hey, I left a taco in your dishwasher.
I just threw up on the way to class. Legit, on the sidewalk by psych building.
THAT WAS YOU? Psych prof just pointed out the window and said "that kids, is why you don't pregame before class"
I am drunkenly riding a razor scooter up and down the hills of Cincinnati
What in the fuck are you doing with your life
I'm so stoned. We're making Josh's sister bake us brownies. She's so small and pixie like. Her brownies make me cry tears of happy.
Just used a NyQuil cup to take a shot. This night is headed nowhere good.
Randomize
