yo dibs on the gosselin haired one.
Pregnant only lasts nine months, being hot takes way longer to go away. So yes, I will continue to hit on the hot pregnant girl.
dizzyuy bat. 3.453 lkos. hoit sx, now im single. blackouteed
we already have meals planned for the weekend.
SEMEN IS NOT A MEAL.
all i remember is him tryin to explain to the girls how to effectively hit the strip club with their bfs
hes actually pretty persuasive when he drinks
Also I think I'm starting to get calluses on my hands from my level of sexual activity
The best revenge is living well. Or pooping in his sunroof. Either or
They better not charge my debit card for what you peed on.
Wrestling for my wallet turned into us almost having sex in the middle of the hallway
Woke up with two different flip flops on sum burnt at the beach. Who are these French kids plz come back
Now in just stoned listening to my dads philosophical idea about public transit
Somehow my drug dealer is stuck in my air-vent and now everything smells like patchouli, weed, deoderant and sweat.
as your best friend, I hope we never outgrow 'I Just Got Laid' texts
Just fell down the stairs..might wanna call the ambulance jus take the weed out of my pocket be4 they come..
...i have a beer in one hand, and a chicken wing in the same. typical tuesday, right?
Randomize
