so... another position just opened up(704) Oh really?(704) Is it John's?(704) Or did you find a new way to take a penis?
I'm waiting for seagulls to eat this throw up
Gave out candy dressed as a porn star...bet you can guess how the mothers kept reacting.
well when i got there she was attempting to stick the cat in her mouth.. so maybe you should go check on her
She vajazzled her vag. It was as useless as putting earrings on chewbacca
I've officially decided that whoever created hate sex should be on my christmas card list.
all I remember is repeatedly winking at the fire marshall while he was counting the people in the bar
I was so drunk. I apparently did a flip over the balcony using it as monkey bars. Ya I hurt a bit today
During breaking dawn, he leaned over and asked me why she would have to worry about her period since she essentially just married a walking super-absorbant tampon... It was the best way to ruin those movies for me.
You can drink as much as you want but it's not gunna make her forehead any smaller
I was hoping it might at least fix her teeth
There is naked swordfighting and something green and alcoholic going on in the basement. COME. OVER. NOW.
listen. he fixes things. buys me drinks and sticks his penis in my vagina. age means nothing at this low point in my life.
I didnt finish. My brain kept playing the duck tales theme thru the entire blow job
See,its just the last time this situation happened I ended up hiding in a closet on my birthday
I think if I send him enough nudes, he will buy my plane ticket.
Randomize
