I definitely just put my boxers on backwards.
haha now u have to piss out ur bum
I just smelled my beer. It smells like coming home.
I'm bakin' bread in my pussy!
What?
I have a yeast infection.
it'll be like the batcave but for manwhores
I'm currently making some changes in my life. If you don't hear from me anymore, then you're probably one of them. Or I'm dead.
I think i just fucked the same guy a second time without realizing it....does that make me a good whore or a bad whore???
It's either my own vomit or popcorn butter in my ear right now. Banking on the second one.
We made popcorn last night. So it's both
IM DRINK YORE HIFH WE ARE POSTERCHOLD OF AMERICA
No one ever gets any after sleeping with her. She is like the broken mirror of hookups, enjoy 7 years of blue ball. Don't say I didn't warn you
I just want someone to shove bread from panera down my throat
I'm getting a collar when he gets back in to town! That's like the bdsm equivalent of getting his class ring!
I just want a relatively mentally stable guy with tattoos and facial hair that loves Captain America as much as I do and will fuck me the way I deserve to be fucked, is that too much to ask for?
I went out to dinner with the girls thinking I'd be home early. Instead I ended up in the Englishman's hotel room. Long Live The Queen.
Today is get drunk without showing anyone my penis day
I don't really care where everyone ended up, but is everyone alive and not in jail?
Not in jail
Alive?
Randomize
