Is it bad that Pitbull has taught me more Spanish than high school did?
You're not pinnochio. Lying isn't going to make it bigger.
how drunk was i? i pretended i was getting a blowjob from a fuckin dolphin in front of my dad. thats how drunk i was.
he was so excited that he found the elusive clitoris. i was like look christopher colombus, just because you found it doesnt mean you knew what to do with it
Apparently he always goes for the wrong girl so it should be easy for me to nail him.
I'm allowed to be upset. I've never had that many fingers in my ass
Oh no I would never do that to her. But when you're single again let me know. Cheating penis is definitely better than single penis. But she has claws.
I don't know... But I do think this is probably the longest series of texts we've written discussing your cock. David was right, it is a brave new world. Also, slow day at work again?
My vagina is not really on board with my "emotional issues"
Omg, those nutella cakes are heavenly, like licking the nipples of a muscular black Jesus.
I'm having a hard time existing right now. When I figure out how it works ill be over.
She had never heard the term "grundle" before. Classiest girl I've met in months
My mum just told me to stop being so pathetic and just find someone to have sex with, even if I don't like them, just be grateful for the sex. Wow.
I wish he’d realize all I want is dick. He’s my boytoy. He’s a stunt cock. \n\nCome over, fuck me silly, eat some leftovers, fuck me again, then go back to the frat house
Listen, I love you but you cannot refer to your dick as the holy sister anymore
Randomize
