Ooooh. That's not a mole. Uncomfortable.
i miss you and i wish you were peeing between my legs right now. in a platonic way
i want to fuck
?
it's pretty self explanatory
We should tie ourselves together anytime there is any type of alcohol involved. It's the safest way. I either end up with freshmen or weird ex bfs. You end up with a large cowboy. This is not good for us
He asked me out while I'm back in town. I have to acknowledge and honor his persistence.
Your vagina must be laced with cocaine...
That BJ in the bathroom was definitely worth the $20 cover.
No I did not just post a Craigslist ad for a used stripper pole because I can't afford my own. But now that you put the idea in my head I might have to.
Everyone is out there getting real jobs and I just realized I've been "washing" my clothes with fabric softener for two months.
You are driving me to get new toys, i am test driving them on the way home.
We are taking your truck.
Stay away a while longer.
Still not sure if they're cops or strippers.
I accidentally sent my dad a very explicit Star Wars fanfiction and he replied with "That was great!"
i left you alone for two hours TWO HOURS & when i got back i had to rush you to the hospital because you were covered in Smooth Away pads & drinking the bong water..
He showed up with a hearse full of beer and is currently shooting pumpkins with a flare gun. Who gives a shit if he's a furry. We need to party with him more often.
I don't want to hook up with him sober. That's pretty much like saying I love you.
It was just a hint of nipple. I kept it classy!
Do you even hear yourself?
Randomize
