Is it necrophilia if we're both dead?
We were done making out and had been asleep for a hour. I felt him put his hand on my butt. Then I farted.
I just remembered we were doing butt clenching exercising with bar straws last night
you were on all fours yelling at the earth to stop spinning.
I consider it a good night. I met Jimmy Buffet, who grabbed my ass, and I body-checked a toddler. She had it coming.
Should I tell them about my ticket for possession or about how I'm shitting blood? Which one will gain the most sympathy?
She said "I've been waiting to suck your cock since high school." I'm so glad so many freshmen are from our school.
I'm not leaving my family to go to a strip club on good friday.
As you passed out you started to cry and say "Mufasa" over and over again making everyone else cry.
So I woke up alone in the hotel room clutching a bible to my chest. Explain, please.
It is not a successful senior year unless you show up to campus without pants at least once, right?
Can you please stop having such an active social life? I'm tryna get fucked over here
Dude it's 6 am and you just invited me to a hotel with a shit ton of coke. Best morning ever
She pregamed while taking a shower. Came out clean and drunk.
He ate me out in the passenger seat of his Range Rover in a Tim Hortons parking lot. I could hear “oh canada” on the radio from a nearby school as I came. Most patriotic orgasm ever!
Randomize
