Hey you
You're the only one I'll text back during sex. what's up?
He doesn't fuck you and he's married, why do you keep letting him cum all over your stomach?
In the hopes he'll just put it in one day?
You were yelling at the cops across the street saying they were at the wrong party
my vagina has been out of service for wayy too long... this semester needs to start like right now
Did we fight the bathroom girl ? She just wanted to give us lotion and condoms.
there isn't one for "I'll give you an I'm sorry blowjob" but that's also an option you have. in the meantime here is an emoticon of a caterpillar
THIS TIME TOMORROW MY VAG IS GONNA BE BRAND SPANKING NEW.
I'm not saying I haven't been that drunk. I'm just saying I haven't been that drunk and then have cops buy me shots.
Apparently we don't communicate very well unless we're drunk and/or naked
I'm really tired of this guy walking his chicken in my neighborhood.
The cat ate a weed mint. This is not a drill
Hey what are you up to?
I am wear the people with the mustaches live. I have found their home.
DUDE, WE BOUGHT THE ACID TOGETHER.
if i had an alexa it would be saying “have sex with guys that don’t care about you”
I shouldn't be allowed to be in america for NYE... or any major holiday for that matter
That was the first time ive ever slept with a girl with a q in her name
Randomize
