angela screamed across the room SHES A CHAMP when i told the pharmacist plan b doesnt make me throw up
debating whether or not to save the package from my first plan b pill. it would be a nice addition to any baby book.
Attempting to teach the cat how to shake. I need a job.
She is just riding on my slutty coat tails.
To say the least, now you know you're a proper lady, passing a field sobriety test in heels...
I'm a busy girl. All I wanted was noncommittal sex a few times a week
It's just weird. It's like Big Bird dating Meg Griffin.
Haha yeah that's basically it. He was like "i've always had a thing for you, and even sober i still would do and feel the same way." so glad to know i am worthy of a sober hookup as well.
i wish i just like had a pee bag attached to me and i could just go whenever i want wherever i want
Final Summary: could he eat a lit sparkler? Probably. Could he do it while peeing off the roof? I'll tell you when you get to the ER.
Do you know how hard it is to put a bandaid on a vagina?
I think my pussy is going to freeze to the ground
That's a gentle way of saying I passed out like an 18-year-old on his first trip to Tijuana
Thanks for not letting me choke to death on my vomit last night
Thank you for attempting to organize my DVDs in chronological and alphbetical order
Bro I rebuilt the dungeon in animal crossing visit me
Broooo
Randomize
