I thought you said his peep was too small
it is but i have no money and nothing is on tv until 7 when americas next top model comes on.
Dude my date hates me, Im on a rooftop full of Turkish people, and Ricky Martin is blasting on the radio. I was wrong earlier when I said I have my shit together
Midnight run for medical supplies ended several hours later with a lapdance to the Braveheart soundtrack.
I'm going to have to start sleeping with my keys taped to my stomach.
Oh man. Realized I was high when I realized how long I'd been watching Roseanne
We bonded over blowjobs and stories of our childhoods. It was beautiful.
After some trial and error I found soaking my balls in maple syurip helps ease the pain.
there's a girl on facebook trying to buy me a pizza. I can't say no... right?
You know what, don't even answer. Just promise me you'll go to the Corner of Shame when you get home.
I forgot I did whipits. Probably because my brain cells were killed from the whipits
Is it OK to disqualify a potential therapist if she lists 50 Shades of Gray as her favorite book? Or is that a good thing?
She took all the bottles out of the shower caddy and replaced them with booze. I just made a shower Manhatten. Imma marry this one.
She's in it for that fear factor ya'll. Obsession and stalking or nothing.
I just texted him from the other room to come have sex with me-stress relieved
You are such a millennial
Everyone needs to leave the house so I can use the good vibrator without being judged.
Randomize
