This girl is more easily done than said...
you went up to him and asked if you could have "friend sex." He looked like a 7 year old on christmas morning
he had to chose between the booze and condoms
what did he choose?
the booze, then looked at me and said, plan b is free right?
Seriously. You just grinded your ass all over the heisman trophy's dick. I want you to think about that.
We left the window open. My vibrators funeral is at 2ish.....bring a side dish or some shit.
They turned motor-boating me into some kind of sick game
Do you still have "be bumpin" written on your ass in glitter pen? Who brings a glitter pen to a bar? Or pulls there ass out for that matter...
I pulled a muscle last night drunk dirty snapchatting him
My night ended with a French cab driver offering me his sperm free of cost.
I based a lot of our friendship on the fact that I thought you were crying from feeling so sad for me when I got crabs. I'm not sure if we can ever be as close now.
please remind me of this if i ever start out a night declaring my goal is to see how much american honey it takes for me to forget who i am again
Let's play the game let's see how long Kayla can be sober
Why do I have this feeling like this is heading in a slightly threesome-y direction
He knocked me over backwards in my chair. I had a beer in each hand. Didn't spill a drop.
Even if they did assume we were doing kinky shit, it's not like they're gonna be like, "HALT SATAN! INTAKE SOME JESUS AND VOMIT YOUR SINS!"
Randomize
