Came home to a chalk baord that read:" Think like a rapist." Can't say I'm surpirsed.
Was just shown the photos from a professional photoshoot my aunt had for their dog...not drunk enough for this...
well once we started drinking vodka out of wine glasses there was no turning back
he told her to call him "Frog Legs" and she still fucked him and not you.
I've heard so many rumors about me being taken home in an ambulance I'm starting to believe them.
Hey on the reals though tomorrow if i take you out to lunch as just a friend will you also suck my cock as just a friend?
woke up outside on the porch naked surrounded by beer cans with a towl around my neck. i must be in heaven cause i've never seen this place before.
After Madison dropped a bottle of full vodka an it shattered on the floor, it was quiet for literally 3 min straight and then drew said "the booze gods have spoken"
My way of showing team usa support, bronze: handy silver: bj gold: home run. God, I'm patriotic
do you remember showing me a picture of your husbands penis last night?
yea! the mushroom one. i would only show you.
I know now that the cab driver can get me a 10 dollar blow job. I'm practically a local.
So. Somehow managed to fuck my contacts out of my eyes. Didn't know that was even possible.
My soul is telling me that I need to take this exam naked.
Let he who has not made drunken spaghetti at 3 a.m. cast the first stone.
Got kicked out of the club and woke up at a frat house. Good night? Couldn't tell you. I got a date out of it I'm glad someone thinks my drinking problem is cute.
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