i just cleaned out my toilet because i knew that my head would be in it later
he used the word "rubber" i just couldn't do it after that.
that knocking you heard last night......that was her head slowly going through the wall
The lack of respect you have for your penis baffles me. I'd rather rub my ball sack on public toilet seats than stick my dick in some of those girls.
A simple 'no' would have sufficed
he just payed for our date, after telling him I was leaving early to meet my fuck buddy. is there something lower than friendzone I can stick this guy in?
Every time I hit my bowl my neighbors set off fireworks... I stop, they stop. I start again, they start again. Too high for this.
She went into the basement and sang to my cat for three hours....she actually has a beautiful voice....
just had to re-breakup with her. it was like shooting a dead horse that was crying and talking.
You have not lived until you've seen your mother stumble into the house with one shoe on mumbling incoherently about tequila cupcakes.
This is why I can't have Wednesdays.... Or adult decisions.
When someone's woman crush wednesday is an ultrasound of her unborn daughter...
I can't
So let me get this straight I was getting drunk with our science teacher from high school and you got drunk with an 82 year old woman who invited you back to her house and made you sandwiches.
Yes.
Now after not puking, next step is not to do the accent when immigration says "hello."
He ate me out in a golf cart while I watched the sunset. You are so right, golf skirts do provide amazing access.
it was like 6 shots in and he was automatically my type
Randomize
