I'm reading about reasons for wearing clothing. IS THIS COLLEGE OR PRESCHOOL?
my roomate judo was messing around with a girl who recently had a kid, when he was sucking her tits milk came out lmao
She was really sick last night--but i was too drunk to bring her chicken noodle soup after the bar, so went by taco bell and got her a chicken burrito instead
i was just offered a 40 day sex challenge. prepare for the best 40 days of your life.
oh. my. god. yes.
Operation liquormelon is in full effect. We may die tonight.
My ex was here I looked him in the eyes when I grabbed some other guy by his belt and dragged him to a room
I think if I set up a series of baby gates up the stairs each one more difficult to undo then the last that should be able to stop your drunk vagina.
I feel as if we moved beyond the hook up stage when she blew me as I drunkenly finished my chicken nuggets.
You may now shotgun with the bride
he fucked me with his goalie mask on. it was like sleeping with Darth Vader
I don't see how you can turn down creme brulee and orgasms
I just made kick ass drunk stir fry while taking care of three other drunk people and doing shots. I don't understand how that's not wife material
Our drunk hook up was interrupted by the delivery guy. When he came back to my room we ate the gyros and went back to sex like we didn't take a lunch break.
I JUST AGREED TO GO TO A CHILD'S BIRTHDAY PARTY AT A PLACE CALLED PUZZLE'S FUN DOME WHY DO I HATE MYSELF
i'm drinking soco out of a mickey mouse cup right now. i love it when college and my childhood meet in the middle.
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