Remember that night when i almost got you arrested? Is that funny yet?
They threw me out of the bar because I was arguing business ethics with the owner of th bar
so he just called his new girlfriend by my name and she was too drunk to even notice how awkward..
my summer class's final was canceled bc it interfered with the world cup. he is giving us all A's on it. I love europe
apparently dick flashing is a frowned upon sport here..... sorry girlfriends mom
I just saw a dude sitting IN a bush, weeping and playing a harmonica. I hope your day is going better than his.
I'm studying for my midterm by watching porn with Spanish subtitles. Surprisingly the words are still really distracting..
I would have done it. But then again I am a starving student who can manipulate my brain into thinking my decision was somehow morally justifiable.
she's five days sober.....are those consecutive????
5 days not 5 nights... like a bad hotel/vacation deal
So this is what you do on your hungover days off put your balls into an egg carton?
It's definitively the wine. Every time I can drink and work I feel like I win at the game of life.
No celebraish? But today's the day that Jesus, Bruce Springsteen, and a flock of bald eagles came down from the heavens in fighter jets with electric guitars and M-16s a blazon, saying "Hey America, fuck the Red Coats, it's time to party"
Just got home. Taking a quick shower. I smell like sex and chorizo. Dont ask.
Last night you texted me "tqiirkykbg doe freedom always"... why?
He made a toga out of my hot pink bed sheets and cracked an egg on his head. Then he proceeded to alphabetize our DVD collection, which was impressive because I'm 99% sure he couldn't have done that sober.
Randomize
