was i over the top when i said that i wished they made v-neck pants to her?
I told my ex i loved him and then he sent me a picture of this girl laying on his bed.
I swear, you have an app for that. "Attention: your boyfriend is pooping. Place call?"
please don't text me until you can spell three letter words again.
He just "revenge puked" on her kid. I think we'll be leaving soon.
Why does She think it's her duty to welcome in freshman through the welcome mat that is her vagina
So puking trix and chicken wings is horrible but atleast we got free drinks for taking the trash out at the bar we are really movin up in the world
Also adulthood=replacing meals with bourbon. And not getting your hair caught in a fan.
He's def the type to chop us into bits whilst screaming "NAPA BITCH". AKA my type
Hey mom, soo do we have a family lawyer or am I on my own for that?
Any residual attraction has just been ruthlessly murdered by that mustache.
I just ate a handful of salt
I thought this was a good idea
I woke up at 2 AM to find them in my living room with a radio flyer wagon full of milk glass plates and a Holstein cow. How am I going to explain this to my landlord!?!
All I remember was you telling him there was something behind him so he would turn around and you could slide down his carpeted stairs on your belly without a shirt on. How's that carpet burn btw?
Got any extra dick over there? I’m running low
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