Overheard: "his girlfriend fucks him with the lights off. It's not serious."
lmfao. well really. it's not love if you cringe at the site of his anus.
Sorry I couldn't answer your call, I'm expecting a call from Chris Hansen.
I'm guessing you didn't end up going to the bar last night.
Nope. Ended up at what I believe was a slumber party down the street.
dont seek real advice from me tonight cause its always gonna end with we should have sex
I just sneezed and had an orgasam..THAT turned on
He's got a pretty small dick but he's a total sweetheart. I'm gonna buy a new dildo and just deal with it.
she wouldn't stop crying, so we sang her to sleep. i'm guessing you will find her in the same position by the toilet in the morning. night.
Whatever dude, just dont tell her your first impression was she looked like your cousin. no judgement here. just sayin.
All I could think about while he was going down on me was that his moustache reminded me that I want to try something new with my pubic hair.
Hey, I'm renting a storage locker for the summer to keep all my bondage shit in so my parents don't see it. You wanna split on it for your all your weed shit?
I wish the guy I was sleeping with wasn't on house arrest.
You know it was a weird night when you find curly fries in your purse the next morning...
I just lifted up my shirt to scratch my stomach n a Dorito flew out of my pullover n it legit scared me when it hit me.
she made me cum so hard I dislocated my jaw. I'm keeping her
You'll be happy to know that the bruise is gone from my cock
She yelled Carpe Diem when she orgasmed. Is it too early to marry her?
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