she said her black crocs were her 'dress up crocs'
It was 5 a.m. and we found him making margaritas with nyquil...
found out the liquor store price matches. thus begins senior year of college
ok perfect im about to bedazzle our mini keg named hans. he is ready to rage
marshmallow pipe was a success. so was melon pipe. come try it
You insisted on calling your mixture of Bacardi & powdered milk "a Jamacian Facial."
He showed up riding a bike blasting the ghostbusters theme song. His name was Lasercat. Im in love.
All I've done for this 11 hour car ride is kegel and listen to our sex playlist so your dick better be good and ready
I'm drunk filing my taxes in a bar on a Monday afternoon in a Regular Show onesie. I think I'm starting to get the hang of this whole adult thing.
I have banged to "The Emperor's New Groove" way more than could possibly be reasonable.
Awkward, walking to my bootycall's hotel room and run into my dad leaving his. Just nodded to each other and went on our ways
I may be a complete scumbag but even im not willing to spend a grand and sit on a plane for 24 hours just for shrooms and a blowjob
Bill says he deeply regrets the incident with the soda bottle
I'm just too horny to handle empty house
Wow first he impregnates you then he won't send you the sex tape you made together? Where has chivalry gone?
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