she cant drink. allergic to alcohol.
ewwww. she might as well have a dick.
She has a t-rex face on a stuart little body.
My balls are about to become a huge part of your mouth's life
sent the pic of my tit to the wrong bbm chatroom
the only bad part about drinking alone is that in the morning there's nobody who can tell you what you did
idk if ive ever seen a picture of him on facebook with his pants on
This honesty session brought to you by jagermeister inc.
I just wanna lay in my bed all bundled up as have someone feed me lettuce
Another day, another engagement, another cat
They have a house rule that you get a composite for every 5 guys you sleep with. Where should I hang my new one?
My CPA just snapchatted me a picture of her playing beer pong at a picnic. Time to do my own taxes?
Did you feel uncomfortable?
For a little while. Then I got really high and ate a bunch of animal crackers out of some dudes pocket while we chilled on their super comfortable couch.
she keeps a switchblade in her panty drawer... i am both terrified and slightly turned on
dude, last night I won a real sword and a bottle of vodka in a cards against humanity tournament
Im going to hell I gave him a handjob on the plane next, to an old guy playing video games on his iPad, on good friday.
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