discovery: the myth about swedish girls giving good head? not a myth.
He's my palate cleanser. He's my mint sorbet. He's my saltine cracker. He's who I fuck between people to make the next one better.
His mom walked into the kitchen smiling, made a scotch on the rocks, hit my bong, and told us goodnight enthusiastically. He's suddenly more appealing to me.
I woke up with $100 in my pocket and I was so excited until I found an atm receipt for a $500 withdrawal. Not as exciting.
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We almost died tonight..we almost die every night. but tonight was the closest by far
All I remember is him trying to go down on me, but I guess I was too busy making out with his brother
Count me out. I seem to have semen induced blindness in one eye.
My boss just sent an employee on an hour long paid break to pick up weed for our 'staff meeting' tomorrow morning.
She needs more friends. Or a second therapist.
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Was so close to hoppin on it but then I realize it's not a dick and I needed to keep walking. Primal instincts.
I've been to his house multiple times since that night and I STILL can't find my bra. And he says the hot tub ate my thong.
Just for future reference. Do not do zumba while stoned out of your mind.
I feel like I shouldn't be left around 30 year olds when I'm drunk
There's a weed, money and oreo filled pinata promised for our party.
She's asleep in a fisher-price toy car
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