erin looks like she hung out with the sham wow guy last night. she's got the beat up hooker look goin' on
Tonight must have been good, I have already had two cups of coffee but still couldn't figure out how to operate a door.
You sent me a text calling me "cunt" while i was in the middle of dumping my bf.
So we're fucking tonight?
I think he just gave me the 'I used to fuck your sister' discount
yes, we have a friends with benefits thing. i found out he had never 69'd, done anal or had a threesome. i told him i was going to rock his world.
and what did he say?
there were no words. he looked like a kid on christmas morning.
I had his cock in my mouth and he still wouldn't shut up about Star Wars.
christmas break will be like the 25 days of orgasms
Bad breakup?
He posted a pic of me fully naked and smiling as he inserted a carrot into my vagina as my FB profile pic and then changed the PW, locking me out of my own account. So 500 of my closest friends, family, and coworkers now have that mental image of me on FB.
i thought i should point out that whatever else you can say about me, i've still gotten high with a midget.
The last thing I remember was wearing a sombrero and trying to do cartwheels in the club
You did one successfully. Then smashed into the wall
Thanks for being my pregnancy scare Sherpa...
There's a bull to ride and dancing on the bar is encouraged. This is my heaven. And this is why god made leopard tube tops.
dude, you ran into a window then asked ME what the fuck I was doing.
I remember 2 things. 1. Hanging through the window. 2. And she needing a bucket to puke in. That’s all. I have no other memory.
Someone should walk up to them and say, "We're sorry, you're too hot to be out here with the other humans."
Randomize
