are we going to glenview for practice??
(3 hrs later) aids
where r u? what is story? im way too high right now
And we will make penis cookies and eat them suggestively
I want to leave work and go home and eat Five Guys and masturbate
You wanted to speak to the manager of mcdonalds as to why a "bag of cheeseburgers" isn't a menu option.
This is a drunk text message. I am so glad that we are friends. Tomorrow we will eat sandwiches in miniature. We both love dogs. Flower.
I'm taking this break up pretty rough.. I've never been to sad to masturbate.
Well, he sent me "techno kitty adventure" about 10 minutes ago. So, he could be anywhere.
It's one of those mornings when I woke up thinking that i really shouldn't have hooked up with my ex boyfriend's girlfriend just to prove a point.
Dont act like I'm the only one that gets on a plane and picks out the one im gonna have fuck if we have time before the crash
Dude so coolest charity idea ever, think aids walk but instead of miles you drink beers oh the possibilities
Ok. I am hammered I will admit it but my legacy needs to live and your the only woman that could spawn satan. We need to talk.
I totally forgot about finals week. im the worst adderall salesman ever.
Not remembering where I left my grinder before vacation #stonerproblems
all i tweeted was "emergency this is not a drill" and he immediately texted me asking if this was a subtle booty call…it was
You casually put your finger in my ass and other people are weird..
Randomize
