he thinks he's going to hurt your feelings
He can't hurt my feelings
I don't have feelings.
I didn't have a rubber, but my dick had a date with a clorox wipe after we finished. I think I'm in the clear.
I had never watched a guy jack off to me before, but let me tell you, it was a very uncomfortable experience.
I will not hesitate to go down on a dick for some cream soda.
We were just at different life stages. He wanted to get married and have kids, I wanted to take MDMA and fuck my roommate.
It's like an R Kelly music video in here. Only a matter of time before someone pisses on someone
Walking into the first day of college is like walking into a meat market. A meat market of sex.
Guess who just sucked off 1/5 of one direction?
who orders an old fashioned in 2014? even my Grandparents think you're an asshole.
It's like "hey I give your roommate blowjobs twice a week, want to connect on LinkedIn?"
He wore the same cologne as my orthodontist so all I could think about was how I hadn't worn my retainer in months
I am sure I don't wanna know but I have to ask... Why is there a kiddie pool full of jello in the living room?
Oh my god if I have to go on fetlife to find a guy who will fuck me right around here, I'm going to scream.
Now that you have a boyfriend, can I have my vibrator back?
He referred to his penis as "The Purple Headed Yogurt Slinger." I'm both disgusted and turned on
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