told my boyfriend i was a virgin so he wouldnt feel bad since he is. now hes asking why his dick is so itchy. should i tell him why?
i don't see why you should, it's not like you told the other guys with the itchy dicks.
Too long to explain. Basically I started an electircal fire. No one was hurt except for a box of cereal near the outlet.
Good lord, they've set up every firework to be ignited by a trail of gasoline at midnight. God save us all.
Don't make fun of the drunk girl eating bread out of her pockets. I've been that girl.
So last night I learned something new. Whenever I drink beer out of a bottle a random guy buys me another one. It was like as soon as the glass hit my lips every guy in a 20ft radius got a hard on.
Texas awaits me. And all the cocks that live there too.
All I can think of is a mama duck followed by her baby ducks, in brightly colored track shoes.
How high are you?
"I'm a professor to university students" I say as I realize I have a nipple piercing that I have no memory of getting
My mom just told me I look like darth vader. how's your night?
Like why am I even still facebook friends with a guy I let finger me at a concert?
Dipping my sugar cookies in a glass of fireball and creme soda. This is holiday spirit
he's been 21 for 38 minutes and he's already trying to fist fight this dude over his girl
awwwww babys first drunken mistake
I lost my virginity to Adventure Time. DO YOU NOT UNDERSTAND THE SIGNIFICANCE?!
He just got out of surgery, almost died from shooting him self with an arrow.
Sorry i ignored you for so long. I think my vibrator is broken.
Randomize
