K got coke dick during a threesome with two strippers. Say no to drugs.
Just saw an Asian kid crash into the bike rack with his bike. I love sitting outside the engineering building.
It wasn't a wasted relationship. I got road-head in an Escalade. I still keep that with me.
Just bought a handle of vodka with the excuse of "just in case we drink tonight"
I think he finally resigned to the fact he could not get off. He just looked at me and said "I'm having testicle difficulties," rolled over and passed out.
get ready to load up the weird cannon and blow a load of buck-wildness all over the place people
You haven't lived until you've watched a retriever try to bring back the condom you just threw in its master's garbage
She brought over her portable harddrive and we dueled with porn. This relationship is too beautiful to last.
I might have snap chatted him. So here's what I need you to do. Find him. Abduct him. Get his phone. View the chat so he can't. Then, buy him ice cream. He deserves ice cream.
Maybe is for pussies. We only say yes in this household
are you putting in a lot of effort today like appearance wise
I am taking my rightful place as emperor of the undead appearance wise
I'd rather have snapchat than feelings.
I just said "you do you" to my penis.
Its 9 am & i've been cleaning for 6 hours now with occasional crying bursts and two cocktails. Adulting 101.
So I hung out with an australian but woke up with a British man in my bed does that make me culturalized
Randomize
