Ok never mind. Thought i pooped my pants for a second. False alarm.
He jizzed my face. I had to ask for a washcloth. He ran his underwear under the water and handed them to me. Not so romantic.
four days late. damn you, makeup sex. you win again.
guess where i woke up this morning? If you guessed the hospital, you sir are correct.
I don't think he grasps the fact that I would much rather he finish inside me than on my $400 Anthropolgie bedspread
So not only did you shoot down my invitation and prob walked past my house but now ur excluding me from a wet t shirt contest which btw i totally would have won
All I could think about while he was going down on me was that his moustache reminded me that I want to try something new with my pubic hair.
how do you not remember that?! you winked at the bouncer and then proceeded to grind on him while chugging a beer. i don't know if i should be proud or embarrassed to be your friend
Also this freshmen guy is talking about his gag reflex and no one is making blowjob jokes. I have no faith in the next generation.
Cleaning my room at 2am, in just one corner I found six beers, half a pint of whiskey, my flask, 2 shotgun bullets, my crown and shimmer lotion.
Jk probs not coming. Tequila
Forever getting my life back together in gas station bathrooms.
I can see their wedding vows now: 'Til basicness do us part
i feel like if my pee,blood, or vomit is on it...it should belong to me by default. can we make that a rule?
I mean she's doing calculus in her head to prove how NOT drunk she is.
Randomize
