Question: terrible or awesome when a girl give you head so vigorously that you get a hickey of sorts
Just had a conversation with Jon gosselin
Until you fuck him in front of his kids stop wasting my time with stupid texts.
so many types of cookies right now. i'm eating four kinds of cookies that i've made into larger cookie sandwiches. too high. whoa.
thank you for reminding me that I stumbled into a public place drunk at 9am wearing a chicks pants.
Oh I love our desires, it's riding my bike at 2 AM with a massive erection that I dislike.
I'll feed you vitamin c from my mouth this weekend. Like a baby bird.
Promise??
Hey! Where are you? It's Irrisponsible Patio time and you're not here firing shots down summer student's throats
this hangover isn't hhappening. im not letting it
its winning. its definitely happening
I wish drunk me came with subtitles
So apparently it wasn't anything really bad, it's hemorrhoids. Which is the medical word for butthurt. I actually have ass ointment.
Somehow I became in charge of getting my mother laid? This can't be my life? Lol
It is such a beautiful day to not be arrested
So I think I've successful blown my foot off in a way that's going to make you call me an idiot.
He grabbed a pine cone off the ground and yelled "I love cigars" then tried to smoke it for ten minutes.
In California. Through an entire game + OT. That’s a long time to have an octopus in your pants.
Randomize
