I just told this girl who bought a pregnancy test "good luck"
This girls' body was nothing short of spectacular...her face, was like the '09 Detroit Lions
just ate frosted cheerios in coffee with some marshmellows. the college diet begins
i think my mom would be mad if i was pregnant. last time i was she grounded me for a week.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just had to take a drug test for my new job. I should have asked them if they could tell me if I were pregnant or not while they were at it and save me the guesswork.
And im sorry for wishing your girlfriend gets genital warts.
I learned 3 things lastnight....1. Turkeys are related to the t-rex. 2. Whales have leg bones cause they used to walk. 3. I will sing drunk in the waffle house, but not during karaoke in the bar
you can think of my virginity as your little souveneir from our relationship.
The thumbs up barstamp on my hand is mocking my hangover with its positivity.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Half way through sex he whispered in my ear, " your the second best I've ever had" then proceeded to tell me to sit on his face.
hell or highwater he WILL get a blowjob in the hammock before the end of summer.
Next time I take edibles I'm getting chipotle to cater the event
...and if you can get the necessary ingredients to make the Buffalo Chicken Melt, I will latch forever at your Teat of Justice.
I turn into such a nice and loving person when I take Vicodin
I'm not 100 percent on this, but I think I just shit a lump of cement. What the fuck happened last night?
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