He introduced her to the DMA meeting by saying: in the past few years i've never seen someone work so hard for so little success
i feel like when youre not in my profile picture no one knows who i am.
So Ive been fucking her for the past couple months and i just found our that my grandfather and her grandmother were fuck buddies for a while. I feel like this is a new awesome family tradition that skips a generation.
I just told a dude I hooked up with last night he was the pick of the litter.
the choice between paying your electricity bill and getting herpes medicine is a tough one.
Stop. He threw up in front of Madison Square Garden security. Spit at the guys feet and grunted ughhh at him.
I'm at a party with half naked strippers driving in a little kids battery powered mustang around a stipper pole in his bedroom
Girl, that was the lost night of 2012 for me and I have buried that night deep deep away..
Partying with them is like having your dick stapled to your left nostril
She was about to leave with you until you started singing "You Hoes Ain't Loyal" in her face
I would say that that is the last time I ever drink a bottle of jack in two hours, but really who am I kidding?
eh, I feel I'm heading for a breakdown and I need to get it out of the way before I start writing that lab report.
He gave me an extra phone charger for the other side of the bed the other night. Is that love?
part of it says your brother mayyyy have put his lips on my vagina
Periods are much less exciting when you're not sexually active.
Randomize
