If you could channel this insane talent for stalking you'd be a great weapon for this country. If you had a crush on Bin Ladin, guaranteed he'd be found, monitered and tagged within five days.
oh, and bring over your fire extinguisher. we're gonna get the mailman again
There's an old bald Japanese dude on the metra next to me. He's drinking MGD on a crowded train, and rocking out way too hard to what may be the same Dallas Green song I'm listening to. Life is sweet.
Waldo just asked us for directions. Even he doesn't know where he is.
if every girl in minneapolis isn't pregnant when i get back to the cities i will cry
surprisingly enough, it isn't that uncomfortable to have sex with a heart monitor on
ok, she started talking about how she swears her step dad killed her mom. starting to back out of this one
all I know is I'm really rwfly really really stoned and a bunch of Korean people are yelling at me
The pigeons can smell the fear
Wtf
We designated a driver... But it was me..... So we designated another driver
It's going to be so weird waking up tomorrow morning fully rested completely sober and not covered in piss or bruises.
Tonight I'm getting fucked up for America because Lord knows we need it.
As your friend, I promise I will drink a full bottle of vodka and belly slide down the stairs with you if that test is positive
Listen I don't care what it's called as long as it's drugs
Have I told you i love you?
there's no need we are two peas in a naughty pod of fuckery
Randomize
