The dr is doing well, he randomly asked if I was bi
Sometimes I think its so cool that a dick that has been inside kate moss has also been inside me. So exciting.
lets put it this way..we'd win on tool academy
once I found out that a naked stripper wasn't gonna pop out of the cake I kind of just lost interest in the party
I believe some people would call last night an orgy.
Just saw pictures of a pregnant teen from my hometown with an American flag wrapped around her naked body posted on FB without irony. These are my roots.
I walked in on him successfully eating chips and masturbating at the same time. I don't know whether I should be ashamed or proud.
Pants-less sunday? Also I'm high and independence day is making me cry
im coming over
Best oral ever, hands down so to speak. but I'm starting to want to meet that lesbian truck driver he says he's better than. Just for comparison purposes of course.
I don't know. I was hiding and the bed was banging. I am going to sleep now in someone's car.
this new dose of ADD meds is totally being waisted with the unemployed new graduate thing if only I could add my hyper focused side effects to a coverletter
It's going to turn into you and me throwing down in a devastating lip-synch battle while everyone else stands around awkwardly.
I legitimately thought he died. I even called his mom at 3am and told her. Im done with vodka.
The coast is clear - also, would it bother you if I chose not to wear pants?
I just apologized to a wet floor sign i walked into.
Randomize
