I'm afraid that if I tell my sister I think Zachary Quinto is gay I'll have to put her on suicide watch for the next week or so
Honey, If i waited till marriage I wouldnt know what a dick tasted like.
just found the deal breaker
hairy back?
he can't live within 1000 ft of a school
Turned in a paper today on drug abuse. Chose to write about percocet. Just realized I started 2 sentences with "This amazing drug"
a creepy fucking ass man came up and started raven cawwing in my ear... he said it was the raven mating call. i am officially freaked out
No, we have matured. We've stopped having sex in front if his room mate.
Chelsea passed out in the kiddie pool. Just added around 28 boxes of jello powder. Will let you know how it works out
I'm also 3/4 on the frats. Its like my goal of traveling to all 7 continents, but different somehow and a lot less morally sound.
Just got attacked by a family of raccoons, I have the worst luck.
It feels like my uterus is trying to crawl out of my ass wearing cleats. And yourself?
You said you'd make me a thank you card for taking care of your drunk ass. I'll be expecting that monday.
I woke up with a bloody knee, 6 burn marks on my thigh and glitter nails If anyone asks I'm going to say You came into town
I think my AA sponsor just booty called me.
the last thing I remember is taking a pull of ever clear and chasing it with vodka
tonight...tonight im having sex in honor of you
Randomize
