I just used a franzia box to scrape the snow off my car.
I don't care if you go out, because at the end of the night I know i'll be the one fucking you.
that was completely unnecessary, true, but unnecessary
I think I breastfed the cat at some point during the night, at least that's what my nipples are saying
I should hang a sign above my bed that says "get hard or go home."
there are ass prints on the hood of my car.
You are too young to settle down enjoy your life. The window to get drunk and have casual sex with strangers gets smaller by the day.
Well still if someone cared enough about u to wish an unwanted child or a disease on u ..u must have been doing something right
Dad says your scarf isnt fooling anyone and u look like a douchebag, its literally the perfect time to tell him your gay
Instead of more alcohol, I decided to drink tea. Lets slow clap it out for me
Let me be the vehicle for you to live out your slutty half-gay dreams.
There were 7 of us cowering in the kitchen because you were swinging a giant, pink double headed dildo around like a nunchuk and hitting anyone who came near you with it.
Am I just high or is she having an auction for her vagina on Twitter
tbh I think I just dated him for his dogs in the first place.
She said my penis was powerful and magnificent
i think i'm just going to start having sex with his brother, he's much hotter and it would definately be less illegal.
Randomize
