I have a dream, to one day wake up next to a girl, walk to the washroom and kick her kids toys out of the way. That day has come, yes we can.
i got last night's adventure to take the garbage out when he was leaving. my vagina is THAT good.
kerrys trying to convince everyone in the bar shes a lesbian. cheers to not being the drunkest girl in the room. i probably wont piss myself tonight.
We need to either drink and not go to waffle house or go to waffle house and not drink. I need to know which is causing these shits.
When i asked him what happened all he said was, the toucan... the toucan... over and over again.
He insisted on sleeping in my bed. Had he taken all of my obvious hints I would have sucked his dick. He only wanted to snuggle. My world has been turned upside down.
She's never allowed to turn 21 again
Hello you've reached the get a clue corp. Our business hours are from take a hint to figure it out, eastern standard time. If you prefer to leave a message, don't, call back when you're not crazy, fat, and annoying.
He threw up the X he took like 30min before then when we thought his antics were over... BOOM! He tried to pee out a light he was holding.
BING! You are now free to move about my panties. He just left for work.
let me just inform you that suppository-ing xanax is glorious
You better not fucking die before we have sex while you blow fire. I'm serious. Don't mess up my sexual bucket list.
I just named someones junk. I should not be allowed to talk to people.
I have serious attachment issues. I just realized how long its been since ive smoked out of my bong and I feel guilty for dis owning it this week
I'm eating an ice cream cone and pooping. Don't know how I'm gonna wipe.
Randomize
