gavin joseph was born around 1 oclock 9lbs 12oz... over 21 inches long
Thats what she said
shut up. I wear heels bigger than your dick
nothing like celebrating the fact that you're not a father by trying to impregnate other women
There was a community pot of Ramen, and if you were in the pool you were either fully clothes or ass naked.
I just got my hands on some dry ice. How do you feel about coming home to a mystical wizard toilet?
She was wearing some slutty variation of a toga and giving the entire bus a pep talk on why we should black out tonight...I'M IN LOVE AND I DON'T CARE WHO KNOWS IT!
We were licking ciroc off the poker table
she walked in on me throwing up in the sink with my pants around my ankles and I said "i'll be with you in a sec"
I took a 19 year old to a strip club and ended up in a three way. Divorced life might be OK.
You started pulling out condoms from your fanny pack and threw them at all the couples on the beach
I AM BEING ACCOSTED BY A HUMMING BIRD
I AM IN MILD DISTRESS
I've only fucked to 2 Fleetwood Mac songs, that must be why my life feels so empty.
the staff put glowsticks in the urinals of the porta-pottys last night and honestly drunk me has never been more grateful for anything in his life
You were throwing up into a trash can full of used condoms. I had to intervine.
Do you knowhow much it sucks to puke in an automatic toilet? Not fun.
Ew.
It takes talent let's just say that
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