In the future we'll all be gay
I want to take you away to a place of dolphin rides and hot stone massages.
I just sold my mom a dimebag. Should I feel scared or sucessful?
it glows. i had to have it.
apparently I kept yelling at her that I wanted t-Rex sized lines. awesome
I'm sorry I kept calling last night when you wouldn't pick up. I'm REALLY sorry I sang "You Oughta Know" on more than 4 voice mails.
that was probably me. ive bitten a lot of people.
Just finished putting caution tape around the tv. Sober me needs to prepare.
I woke up this morning covered in blood and peanut butter. I am now safe from vampires with nut allergies.
They make twin pack pregnancy tests for girls like us
I vaguely remember seeing that couple making out in front of that store and i yelled "I ALSO LOVE THE ROCKY MOUNTAIN SOAP COMPANY!"
Like I actually don't feel all that great but the fact that I'm not projectile vomiting at work makes life seem so magical
It's Christmas, you should know what a virgin is.
Church parking lot, park bench, front porch. I think she's more comfortable going down on me in public. May have found the one.
Not sure if buying Twisted Teas for the alcoholics posted up outside the gas station counts as paying it forward but I am optimistic.
Randomize
