I wanna blow your doors off so bad right now.
Doors?
Rock your world. Blow you out. Skeet skeet.
There was a fist fight in my basement last night at four in the morning, in case you were wondering
google image searching george stephanopoulos at 1 AM on a saturday night...once again
me texting you is like we have secret walkie talkies.
It is 3am. I'm at a pizzeria with my 4 friends. The one to my right is throwing up on herself, the one to my left is crying hysterically by herself, the one in front of me is passed out on the table, and the other is trying to find a taxi and I'm pretty sure a guy is sticking his hand up her skirt. Tourists are taking pictures. Help me.
Julian told me all the fish in his pond died and he didn't know when or how. I didn't have the heart to tell him he drunkenly peed in the pond on Saturday as everyone cheered him on.
i just burped and it tasted like condom. please tell me i wasn't lame and made that guy wear one for a bj last night.
After he told me that it's up to him to carry on his family name, I almost felt bad for not letting him cum inside me.
by the way- Brandy out of a doggy bowl was AMAZING
I told you, I don't give a SHIT about their music. I JUST. WANT. TO FUCK. THE BASSIST.
We are there now. They have a giant cock and balls with an eagles face and wings.
You threw your body across the gross couple hooking up on the couch and demanded they scratch your back. I love you drunk on peach schnapps
If there was a gecko involved in your BDSM I'm gonna have to request that not happen when we live together ;)
can you come here so we can have really loud sex? the girl upstairs walks so loud i want her to know how it feels
of course
So unofficially, he told me he deleted tinder because of me. I think that's a pretty romantic gesture in 2018.
Randomize
