i'm at sigma nu and gary is here. what do it do?
Stay away from his face.
so i go for his dick?
:O -> O: ... that's emoticon for "he threw up in my mouth while we were making out"
explain to me why "crisis hotline lolz" is in my contacts?
I saved $70 from being to drunk to go out last night so I figured I could buy a new watch.
I hope he's okay, but I also hope he shows up with an eyepatch
So am I a slut for not remembering his name after sex last night or not recognizing him in the cafe today after he told me who he was?
He thinks that since we have been dating six months, that he can do the helicopter with his penis. Not okay.
That penis you're staring at is the penis of heartbreak. Stay away. It will break your heart AND keep you away from other penises. BACK. OFF. THE PENIS.
Hey did where's my bong?
In the tree out back .... Top branch on the right
Should I bother to ask?
Because selling drugs to kids never goes out of business. We get older, they stay the same stupid.
All I know is I was dancing to Shakira in his alley and I think rubbing my junk on his car door.
My new hobby is moving his stuff to random places in the house. Good luck making a smoothing at 6:30 in the morning, the blender top's in the dog food container
Nipple rings and loofahs DO NOT mix.
idk what to be more embarrassed/confused about, that i lost my underwear or that i woke up covered in fried rice
I need mimosas to revive my soul
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