I thought about farting is his face when he was going down on me last nite.
You were making dinosaur noises while jerking me off..
why would you automatically assume i'm high...
you just told me you're eating the powder of a lemonade mix.
I'm ordering a large vanilla ice cream with rainbow sprinkles so when I vom tonight it will look like lisa frank dolphins in acid trip colors
The perfect world is just rainbows and rocknroll and good sex. With the occasional stripper ridIng a horse. I spelled occasionally right?
Thank you for not puking on my lap during the first class of the semester. And fuck you for doing it in the second.
The only excuse this guy at the club had for trying to make out with me as soon as I met him was "I AM FROM MEXICOOO"
this one kid was speed-mumbling about putting broccoli in the printer
Well yes he stayed. He brought Guiness, them he shaved me. It's a long, but beautiful story.
On the way home there was a guy passed out IN the road on Colfax with his pants around his ankles, completely bare assed. If he was dressed as a speed bump, he succeeded.
I threw up vodka and borscht. I'm done with life...I threw this up in a McDonald's bathroom btw.
This may be the alcohol talking, but I'm pretty sure I know Spanish now
I was mad at him...then I jerked off. Now I'm over it. Orgasms fix everything, I swear.
I keep having dreams where I tie him up and eat cookies off of him while riding him. Wtf brain.
He sent me a text saying his breakfast today was leftover mead and some fruit salad
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