The first sip always goes straight to my vagina.
i went through the entire semester and only just now realized there's a girl in my history class that i've hooked up with.
His parents had a bottle of captain morgan on the table for me when I went for dinner. I feel accepted
I really don't think you should have 'baptized' your tattoo in vodka the same night you got it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am now trying to reassure her that she doesn't have a wide-set vagina. So thanks, for whatever you said.
RA chick in a Christmas onsie chased us up 5 flights of stairs. I need to stop violating guest policy
I just found my "random bang list for summer of 2012" that I wrote last night.. It's written on a Plan B receipt. If this isn't irony I don't know what is.
The horniest man in the world doesn't want sex as bad as I want pizza right now.
What the fuck happened last night.... I woke up with a bowl half full of ravioli next to my head, reversed on my bed still fully clothed.....
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I WANNA SUCK HIS DICK ON A BOAT
The cat ate a weed mint. This is not a drill
The adults are the big ones right?
gonna stay in tonight
and im a platypus. shotgun a beer and get your dick to this party. ive got some hot friends visiting
Come by so you can take a pregnancy test with me. It's like my monthly ritual!
Well now I’m in the bathroom puking up absinthe so guess I beat myself up over it one way or the other
Randomize