quick I need to know all the foods that the very hungry caterpillar ate
Sorry I wasn't really responding earlier. I was really fucking high and so into that car chase.
Do you know how awkward it is to call the bar from last night and ask if they found my leggings?
I wonder what my nutrition professor is going to think when I have to put 21 keystone lights, a bottle of merlot wine, and 5 rum and cokes and 4 shots of tequila on my dietary analysis
and then she judged me for using my bra as a potholder. hard times my friend, welcome to college.
I asked you how much you drank and you replied with "I don't know what kind of toothpaste I use."
Apparently I was holding on to a pizza crust for hours last night.
I woke him up this morning and said I have a meeting w my advisor in an hour you need to wake up, cum on my face, and take me to my car.
I am trapped in a bar with french tattooed drug dealers who also blow glass art. Just in case this is bad, know what happened.
Woke up handcuffed to a half gallon of beam. Yep. This is my life.
Also, my drunkenly packed sleepover kit consisted of a singular sock, my uncharged laptop, and a pack of post-it notes.
It's a good cause. For your vagina.
That's where the buck stops? Buying girlfriends online? THAT is where you draw the line?!
He sent me a website link to GIF on Snapchat. I don’t think he understands how Social Media works.
I'm noticing I drink less and do fewer lines when I do both together.
Now that's what I call smart money management.
Randomize
