i wonder if she has dreads down there too...
when i got to my bed there was a handwritten note that said "wash the sheets." sleeping on the couch.
i just discovered a movie that charlize theron is a sex addict. i think my prayers have been answered
I mean, I gave him a hand job on the Pearl Harbor tour bus; I don't know what the fuck else he wants out of this "relationship"
Girl just walked into the bar with a T-shirt that says "I'm not Irish, kiss me anyways." Target aquired.
I'm stoned and just shared 4 cookies with this chicks dog
They're raisins though so they're healthy. No worries.
I just found a video of you asking to be a whale with me.
Currently playing beer pong versus the girl i lost my virginity to.....and her mom
Still stoned. I like your bong. It can stay. No others, though.
He drives a tundra! Of course I fucked him. Im just saying eventually im going to need help moving and he has a nice truck. Its like thank you for later on
I washed my sheets. I did out of respect for my previous and current sexual partners.
WTF I can't even get a boyfriend here and you're getting nudes from across the country
Omg. I can't go on a date with this man. His kids are too ugly.
omg girl... i cut your hair last night. tell me it looks okay!? i saw hair on the counter and i said ohhh nooo
OH GOD IT TASTES LIKE IT SMELLS
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