Let's start a violent farting gang. We can do walkbys.
lol earlier she was acting like a normal gf... and then BANG! shes touching herself again...
i may or may not have just grinded on your dog thinking it was my boyfriend
Was finally able to jerk off without the motion giving me a migraine. Think my hangover's getting better.
He freaked out when I started to orgasm. He said he never knew girls could orgasm too.
Ok. In one sink is a hairdrier. Still plugged in. The other is filled with broken glass. What do I do?!
Nvm. Bloody hand trumps dead. Also, where is gauze.
How do you get mayonnaise out of... well jesus it's everywhere, let's start with carpets
Doing lines and watching a show on hot dogs around the world ... Why do I do this to myself
A drawer in my room has nothing but a large feather quill, a wine glass, and a 15" Bowie knife. If you could put my life in a drawer I think that would be it.
So doing the math I dated almost 2 of me in penises. Like, if I you layed them out lengthwise it would be 2 times my height.
Yo I get this girl alone in my room last night but she bounces cus she thought the full house poster was "weird"
pizza hut and my weed lady just showed up at the same time. I feel 22 again.
Who knew she had talents apart from chugging wine spritzers
I just motorbotted some guy and my hair got stuck in his nipple ring...owww
Weird. And pubic lice are now endangered so your hairy balls can rest easy
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