So why didn't Edward and the Cullens just kill Hitler?
You need to stop watching Twilight.
You broke out your mechano set and told us you were gonna "build us a beer machine" and 5 min later you were fast asleep
We've only been driving for two hours and I'm already down 3 vicodin...I'm not going to survive this family vacation.
I'm writing my will in case I die this week, it'll be saved on my computer under: little 500 death scenario
I have got to stop assigning last names to girls I get numbers from based on what I think will remind me of them... Sarah Petrydish is not an acceptable memory trigger
time for you to cut the loving, understanding, non-judgmental crap and say/do whatever it takes to make sure I never, ever, ever sleep with him again ever
Finally washing the shoe scuff marks off my front windshield :( bye bye memories
You were holding up a boot and yelling boot gang
This is NOT the time to take our hits and go to Disney. Let me repeat that. NOT THE TIME FOR DISNEY ON ACID
He kept telling me that it stood for Sex Utility Vehicle
I woke up naked in this guys bed and the first thing I start saying is it's super bowl Sunday like I was yelling
I left my parents and ran through the airport. I was like I'm not getting stuck in Atlanta tonight and not having sex.
Here when you come to your senses come back here and I'll fuck you back out of them.
I woke up in nothing but my socks and my hat a cigarette in my mouth and a beer in my hand..........GREAT NEW YEARS
Good thing he's hot and my vagina likes him or I'd be at Dennys right now.
Randomize
